Funny Sports Quotes and Sayings
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. -Sam Snead
Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen; soccer is a gentleman's game played by beasts; football is a beastly game played by beasts. -Henry Blaha
Remember, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. -Darrin Weinberg
The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn't move, kick it until it does. -Phil Woosnam
The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game. -Bill Shankly
I think football would become an even better game if someone could invent a ball that kicks back. -Eric Morecambe
The serve was invented so that the net could play. -Bill Cosby
Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious. -Ringside Boxing Analyst
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. -Emo Philips
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf will. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you can get so sore at yourself that you forget to hate your enemies. -Will Rogers
Rugby is a good occasion for keeping thirty bullies far from the center of the city. -Oscar Wilde
Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very un-orderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off. -Bill Veeck
Baseball is like church. Many attend; few understand. -Leo Durocher
There are more back room staff than there are players out there ... so how the hell does a player think for himself. -Geoff Boycott
Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer. -Ted Williams
Serious sport is war minus the shooting. -George Orwell
Cricket is basically baseball on Valium. -Robin Williams
Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake. -Sylvester Stallone
Unintentionally Funny Quotes
Apart from these, sometimes, a quote can unintentionally become witty leading to squeals of laughter. Here are a few examples of such funny quotes from our beloved sportsmen.
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. -Greg Norman
Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical. -Yogi Berra
I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me. -Andre Dawson
My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. -Chuck Nevitt
If you come to a fork in the road, take it. -Yogi Berra
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. -Sam Snead
Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen; soccer is a gentleman's game played by beasts; football is a beastly game played by beasts. -Henry Blaha
Remember, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. -Darrin Weinberg
The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn't move, kick it until it does. -Phil Woosnam
The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game. -Bill Shankly
I think football would become an even better game if someone could invent a ball that kicks back. -Eric Morecambe
The serve was invented so that the net could play. -Bill Cosby
Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious. -Ringside Boxing Analyst
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. -Emo Philips
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf will. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you can get so sore at yourself that you forget to hate your enemies. -Will Rogers
Rugby is a good occasion for keeping thirty bullies far from the center of the city. -Oscar Wilde
Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very un-orderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off. -Bill Veeck
Baseball is like church. Many attend; few understand. -Leo Durocher
There are more back room staff than there are players out there ... so how the hell does a player think for himself. -Geoff Boycott
Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer. -Ted Williams
Serious sport is war minus the shooting. -George Orwell
Cricket is basically baseball on Valium. -Robin Williams
Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake. -Sylvester Stallone
Unintentionally Funny Quotes
Apart from these, sometimes, a quote can unintentionally become witty leading to squeals of laughter. Here are a few examples of such funny quotes from our beloved sportsmen.
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. -Greg Norman
Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical. -Yogi Berra
I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me. -Andre Dawson
My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. -Chuck Nevitt
If you come to a fork in the road, take it. -Yogi Berra
No comments:
Post a Comment